Smart Home

Skip Heitzig

Stop imagining a better home life and start building it. Whether you're single and just surveying the landscape, married and mediating the man cave versus the she shed, or rebuilding your home (and heart) after significant loss, God has a blueprint for you. No home is beyond repair, so join Skip Heitzig for Smart Home and start building the home of your future today.


 

Table of Contents

# SCRIPTURE: MESSAGE:
1 Psalm 127 Meet the Architect
2 Genesis 24; Genesis 29 Get Prequalified—Finding a Mate
3 1 Corinthians 7; Matthew 19 Get Prequalified—The Minimalist Home
4 Ephesians 5:25-32 Following the Blueprint—A Husband’s Love
5 Ephesians 5:22-24 Following the Blueprint—A Wife’s Submission
6 Ephesians 5:15-21 Building Your Future Home with Care
7 Genesis 2; Mark 10 Till Death Do Us Part—What You Need to Know to Make Marriage Last
8 Proverbs 5:15-21 The Master Bedroom: Components of Marital Intimacy
9 Communication Breakdown
10 Genesis 28-31 A Smart Home...with In-Laws?

 


 

SERIES: Smart Home
MESSAGE: Meet the Architect
SPEAKER: Skip Heitzig
SCRIPTURE: Psalm 127
URL: http://CalvaryABQ.org/4332

MESSAGE SUMMARY
In this first message of our Smart Home series, we focus on the foundational elements. Let’s meet the Architect of the home and the family—God Himself. His blueprints for the people He creates include satisfying relationships and integrated operation. We should make sure to build alongside of Him so that our homes become satisfying places of refuge, palaces of joy, and platforms for worship. Let’s take a fresh look at Solomon’s instruction.

STUDY GUIDE
Connect Recap Notes: July 29, 2018
Speaker: Skip Heitzig
Teaching: "Meet the Architect"
Text: Psalm 127

Path

In this first message of our Smart Home series, we focus on the foundational elements. Let's meet the Architect of the home and the family—God Himself. His blueprints for the people He creates include satisfying relationships and integrated operation. We should make sure to build alongside of Him so that our homes become satisfying places of refuge, palaces of joy, and platforms for worship. Let's take a fresh look at Solomon's instruction.

  1. The Designer: The Lord (v. 1)
  2. The Builders: God and Us (vv. 1-2)
  3. The Dwellers: Families and More (vv. 1-5)
  4. The Enjoyers: Everyone Involved (v. 5)
Points

The Designer: The Lord The Builders: God and UsThe Dwellers: Families and MoreThe Enjoyers: Everyone InvolvedPractice

Connect Up: Why is it important to understand both the Architect and His design for the family? How is the design intricately related to the Designer? Consider both similarities and differences between the design and Designer. For example, the design is not always lived out perfectly—family life sometimes fails—but the Designer is always perfect.

Connect In: How can Christians help encourage, support, and reinforce God's design for home life? Begin with the vertical relationship demonstrated in Psalm 116: believe in Him, cry out to Him, follow Him, study His Word, obey Him, serve Him, thank Him, and live for Him. Then consider horizontal relationships: be there, express affirmation, build healthy morals and values, discipline with consistency, eliminate stress, communicate well, play together, and love your spouse.1 What can you add to these?

Connect Out: What strategies would you take if you observed a home life that was spinning out of control? How could you reinforce the Architect's plans? What steps could you take to encourage rebuilding? Your answers depend on whether the family members are Christians. How might you help both believing and unbelieving families?


1 Whitney Hopler, "Ten Ways to Build a Healthy and Happy Family," November 17, 2010, www.crosswalk.com/family/parenting/10-ways-to-build-a-healthy-and-happy-family-11641140.html, accessed 07/29/18.

OUTLINE


  1. The Designer: The Lord (v. 1)

  2. The Builders: God and Us (vv. 1-2)

  3. The Dwellers: Families and More (vv. 1-5)

  4. The Enjoyers: Everyone Involved (v. 5)

 


 

SERIES: Smart Home
MESSAGE: Get Prequalified—Finding a Mate
SPEAKER: Skip Heitzig
SCRIPTURE: Genesis 24; Genesis 29
URL: http://CalvaryABQ.org/4334

MESSAGE SUMMARY
Dating can be exciting. It can also get weird and end poorly. I like the common sense of one who quipped, "Some people are unmarried for the same reason that some drivers run out of gas. They pass too many filling stations looking for their favorite brand!" Though dating was unknown in biblical times, let’s look at five principles in budding relationships to help you prequalify to build a solid, long-lasting, and satisfying Smart Home.

STUDY GUIDE
Connect Recap Notes: August 5, 2018
Speaker: Skip Heitzig
Teaching: "Get Prequalified—Find A Mate"
Text: Genesis 24; Genesis 29

Path

Dating can be exciting. It can also get weird and end poorly. I like the common sense of one who quipped, "Some people are unmarried for the same reason that some drivers run out of gas. They pass too many filling stations looking for their favorite brand!" Though dating was unknown in biblical times, let's look at five principles in budding relationships to help you prequalify to build a solid, long-lasting, and satisfying Smart Home.

  1. Separation (Genesis 24:5-7)
  2. Supplication (Genesis 24:12-21)
  3. Selectivity (Genesis 29:9-12, 15-17)
  4. Sacrifice (Genesis 29:18-19)
  5. Stamina (Genesis 29:21-28)
Points

SeparationSupplication  Selectivity Sacrifice  Stamina  "I have been taught from my mother's knee, in harmony with the Word of God, that the marriage vows are inviolable, and that by entering into them I am binding myself absolutely and for life. I am not naive concerning this; on the contrary I am fully aware that mutual incompatibility or other unforeseen circumstances could result in extreme mental suffering. If such becomes the case, I am resolved, for my part, to accept it as a consequence of the commitment we are now making and to bear it, if need be, to the end of our lives together. I have loved you dearly as my sweetheart and I will love you as my wife. But above everything else, I love you with a Christian love that demands we never act in such a way as to hinder our prospects of entering heaven which is the supreme desire of both our lives."2

Practice

Connect Up: Discuss the idea that marriage reflects our relationship with the Lord. Read Ephesians 5:21-33. What are some of the similarities and differences between human and divine marriage?

Connect In: If you are comfortable—and are (or were) married—share how you dated or courted. What can people in your Connect Group learn from your dating practice? If it is was successful, why? If not, what could you improve upon?

Connect Out: When reaching out to someone considering dating, what advice would you give? Boundless Ministries suggests that biblical dating: Do you agree? Why or why not? Re-read the letter in the Stamina section. How should this man's heart reflect all believers' hearts?


1 National Council on Family Relations, "Family Relations," 1985, https://www.jstor.org/stable/583577?seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents, accessed 8/5/18.
2 James Dobson, Stories of the Heart and Home, W Publishing Group, Nashville, TN, October 10, 2000.
3 Scott Croft, "Biblical Dating: How It's Different from Modern Dating," March 23, 2012, http://www.boundless.org/relationships/2012/biblical-dating-how-its-different-from-modern-dating, accessed 8/5/18.

OUTLINE


  1. Separation (Genesis 24:5-7)

  2. Supplication (Genesis 24:12-21)

  3. Selectivity (Genesis 29:9-12, 15-17)

  4. Sacrifice (Genesis 29:18-19)

  5. Stamina (Genesis 29:21-28)


 


 

SERIES: Smart Home
MESSAGE: Get Prequalified—The Minimalist Home
SPEAKER: Skip Heitzig
SCRIPTURE: 1 Corinthians 7; Matthew 19
URL: http://CalvaryABQ.org/4336

MESSAGE SUMMARY
Should the top priority of a single person be to get married? Can a Smart Home also be a minimalistic home—with just one occupant? Why is it that singleness is sometimes considered less acceptable than marriage? Can the single life be a full, enriching, and positive experience? Perhaps you’ve lost your mate or you’re still waiting to find one. Or maybe you’re happy to stay single. Today let’s consider singleness and celibacy in light of Scripture.

STUDY GUIDE
Connect Recap Notes: August 12, 2018
Speaker: Skip Heitzig
Teaching: "Get Prequalified—The Minimalist Home"
Text: 1 Corinthians 7; Matthew 19

Path

Should the top priority of a single person be to get married? Can a Smart Home also be a minimalistic home—with just one occupant? Why is it that singleness is sometimes considered less acceptable than marriage? Can the single life be a full, enriching, and positive experience? Perhaps you've lost your mate or you're still waiting to find one. Or maybe you're happy to stay single. Today let's consider singleness and celibacy in light of Scripture.

  1. The Single Life (1 Corinthians 7:1)
  2. The Celibate Life (Matthew 19:11-12)
  3. The Sensible Life (1 Corinthians 7:27-28)
Points

The Single Life
The Celibate LifeThe Sensible LifePractice

Connect Up: Consider Jesus as the greatest example of singleness. How did He live and interact with people as a single man? If you're single, how can you imitate Jesus' life of singleness? If you're married, what can you learn from His life of singleness? And what does singleness tell you about God the Father?

Connect In: One writer called singles "the lepers of today's church,"2 as they are often forgotten or made to feel odd. Discuss ways the church can be a more welcoming place for singles. If you are single, share your thoughts and concerns. If you are married, share what you experienced when you were single.

Connect Out: When reaching single people for Christ, the method is the same: a clear presentation of the gospel. But do you think having an outreach specifically for singles could be helpful? What might that outreach look like?


1 Bella DePaulo, "What Has Changed for Single Americans in the Past Decade," September 20, 2016, The Washington Post, accessed 8/12/18.
2 Gina Dalfonzo, "Are Single People the Lepers of Today's Church?," https://www.onfaith.co/onfaith/2014/04/09/are-single-people-the-lepers-of-today/31646, accessed 8/12/18.

OUTLINE


  1. The Single Life (1 Corinthians 7:1)

  2. The Celibate Life (Matthew 19:11-12)

  3. The Sensible Life (1 Corinthians 7:27-28)


 


 

SERIES: Smart Home
MESSAGE: Following the Blueprint—A Husband’s Love
SPEAKER: Skip Heitzig
SCRIPTURE: Ephesians 5:25-32
URL: http://CalvaryABQ.org/4338

MESSAGE SUMMARY
To live in a Smart Home, occupants must follow the architect’s blueprint. God, the inventor of marriage, has given roles to husbands and wives so they can live together in harmony and joy. The basic role of a husband is to love his wife. This love is explained and described by the architect in the building documents found in Ephesians 5. This kind of love that a husband lavishes on his wife will enable her to fulfill her role with greater ease and deeper contentment.

STUDY GUIDE
Connect Recap Notes: August 19, 2018
Speaker: Skip Heitzig
Teaching: "Following the Blueprint—A Husband's Love"
Text: Ephesians 5:25-32

Path

To live in a Smart Home, occupants must follow the architect's blueprint. God,
the inventor of marriage, has given roles to husbands and wives so they can live together in harmony and joy. The basic role of a husband is to love his wife. This love is explained and described by the architect in the building documents found in Ephesians 5. This kind of love that a husband lavishes on his wife will enable her to fulfill her role with greater ease and deeper contentment.

  1. A Singular Love (v. 25a)
  2. A Sacrificial Love (v. 25b)
  3. A Sanctifying Love (vv. 26-27)
  4. A Sensitive Love (vv. 28-30)
  5. A Shatterproof Love (v. 31)
  6. A Showcase Love (v. 32)
Points

A Singular Love A Sacrificial LoveA Sanctifying Love A Sensitive Love A Shatterproof LoveA Showcase Love Practice

Connect Up: What are some reasons you think God created marriage? The Bible offers several: to not be alone, for procreation, and to provide a picture of Christ's love for the Church. What are some other reasons? Consider how marriage makes each spouse more like Christ. Using 1 Corinthians 13, discuss love's Christ-like qualities in the context of marriage: patient, longsuffering, kind, does not envy, rejoices in the truth, etc.

Connect In: Research shows that fifty-three percent of very happy couples agree with the statement: "God is at the center of our marriage."1 Discuss ways Christian couples can keep Christ at the center of their lives. If you have a healthy marriage, share the habits/reasons behind its success. If you have an unhealthy marriage, share how you might improve.

Connect Out: How do we reach out to and encourage people with troubled marriages? Consider these ten insights from Christianity Today:2Do you agree with these? What would you add or delete?


1 Ed Stetzer, "Marriage, Divorce, and the Church: What do the stats say, and can marriage be happy?," February 14, 2014, https://www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2014/february/marriage-divorce-and-body-of-christ-what-do-stats-say-and-c.html, accessed 8/19/18.
2 Ed Stetzer, "10 Things I've Learned After 26 Years of Marriage," August 15, 2013, https://www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2013/august/ten-things-ive-learned-after-26-years-of-marriage.html, accessed 8/19/18.

OUTLINE


  1. A Singular Love (v. 25a)

  2. A Sacrificial Love (v. 25b)

  3. A Sanctifying Love (vv. 26-27)

  4. A Sensitive Love (vv. 28-30)

  5. A Shatterproof Love (v. 31)

  6. A Showcase Love (v. 32)


 


 

SERIES: Smart Home
MESSAGE: Following the Blueprint—A Wife’s Submission
SPEAKER: Skip Heitzig
SCRIPTURE: Ephesians 5:22-24
URL: http://CalvaryABQ.org/4340

MESSAGE SUMMARY
When it comes to a family’s roles within the home, the “S” word (submission) can generate controversy. To modern ears, God’s standards can seem out-of-date and even distasteful to some. But I am suggesting that the quickest way to fulfillment for a married woman is to discover the freedom of her role as properly understood in Scripture. So let’s jump in and unpack this role and see how it is meant to correspond to a husband’s loving leadership.

STUDY GUIDE
Connect Recap Notes: August 26, 2018
Speaker: Skip Heitzig
Teaching: "Following the Blueprint—A Wife's Submission"
Text: Ephesians 5:22-24

Path

When it comes to a family's roles within the home, the "S" word (submission) can generate controversy. To modern ears, God's standards can seem out-of-date and even distasteful to some. But the quickest way to fulfillment for a married woman is to discover the freedom of her role as properly understood in Scripture. Let's unpack this role and see how it is meant to correspond to a husband's loving leadership.

  1. Submission Is Personal (v. 22a)
  2. Submission Is Practical (v. 22a)
  3. Submission Is Purposeful (vv. 23-24a)
  4. Submission Is Provisional (v. 22b)
Points

Submission Is PersonalSubmission Is PracticalSubmission Is Purposeful Submission Is Provisional Practice

Connect Up: How is a wife's submission to her husband a picture of a believer's submission to Christ? Why is submission imperative in our personal relationship with Jesus? The idea of surrendering to Christ is likened to being born again (see John 3:7). As one who is saved by God's grace through faith (see Ephesians 2:8), our salvation is secure in the Lord and sealed by the Holy Spirit (see 2 Corinthians 1:22). How does this divine relationship serve as a model for marriage (salvation brings security and a seal of love)?

Connect In:
If you are a married woman or have been married, share the joys and challenges of submission. What can you tell men and women in the church about your successes and failures with submission? (Share only as much as you feel comfortable. If you have experienced abuse in marriage, only share as you are led.) If you are single, consider how submission and applies to your relationship with the Lord and others.

Connect Out: Submission must not be used to berate women or as an excuse for abuse of any kind. How might you reach out to and care for a woman suffering from physical, emotional or spiritual abuse? Ensure that your answers are biblical. Focus on the Family suggests:3Another suggestion uses the acronym LOVE:Do you agree with this advice? What might you add or delete? Why?


1 Johanna Harris Tyler, "Submission to Your Husband is a Dangerous Doctrine," March 8, 2015, http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-03-09/harris-submission-to-your-husband-is-a-dangerous-doctrine/6290304, accessed 8/27/18.
2 John Piper, "A Metaphor of Christ and the Church," February 12, 1984, https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/a-metaphor-of-christ-and-the-church, accessed 8/27/18.
3 Focus on the Family, "My Spouse is Verbally and Emotionally Abusive," https://www.focusonthefamily.com/family-q-and-a/relationships-and-marriage/my-spouse-is-verbally-and-emotionally-abusive, accessed 8/27/18.

OUTLINE


  1. Submission Is Personal (v. 22a)

  2. Submission Is Practical (v. 22a)

  3. Submission Is Purposeful (vv. 23-24a)

  4. Submission Is Provisional (v. 22b)

 


 

SERIES: Smart Home
MESSAGE: Building Your Future Home with Care
SPEAKER: Skip Heitzig
SCRIPTURE: Ephesians 5:15-21
URL: http://CalvaryABQ.org/4341

MESSAGE SUMMARY
The construction of a house is no small undertaking. After the blueprints have been drawn up and approved, there are a series of steps to take to ensure the building is strong and durable. The verses we are considering today give us the preliminary features necessary to live peacefully with another person. Before the roles of family members can ever be exercised successfully, these considerations come first.

STUDY GUIDE
Connect Recap Notes: September 2, 2018
Speaker: Skip Heitzig
Teaching: "Building Your Future Home with Care"
Text: Ephesians 5:15-21

Path

The construction of a house is no small undertaking. After the blueprints have been drawn up and approved, there are a series of steps to take to ensure the building is strong and durable. The verses we are considering today give us the preliminary features necessary to live peacefully with another person. Before the roles of family members can ever be exercised successfully, these considerations come first.

  1. The Footings: How Careful Are You? (vv. 15-17)
  2. The Foundation: Who's in Control? (v. 18)
  3. The Framing: What Rooms Are Included? (vv. 19-20)
  4. The Fencing: How Do You Protect Residents? (v. 21)
Points

The Footings: How Careful Are You?The Foundation: Who's in Control?The Framing: What Rooms Are Included?The Fencing: How Do You Protect Residents?Practice

Connect Up: As the architect of family and marriage, why is it important to let the Lord build your home? What truths from Pastor Skip's teaching hit home the most for you?

Connect In: Your own family is important but so is the church family. How do the principles shared in this teaching apply to the body of Christ? For example, people in the church are also called to submit to one another, to sing songs, and to love one another. What other parallels do you find between family and the church?

Connect Out: How would you reach out to a hurting family to help them find a heathy balance in their home? Do you agree with these healthy practices from Faith Along the Way?1Or would you recommend a simple route, such as:
Pray together. A family that prays together stays together.
Read the Bible together during meals or a family devotion time.
Attitude. Your attitude should be like Jesus' attitude: "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition" (see Philippians 2:1-4).
You. A family is not about you, but us. Recognize that no person is an island, as the poet John Donne wrote, but a "piece of the continent, a part of the main."2 We are to seek peace for the greater good of the family, looking out for one another in love.


1 Abi Craig, "Seven Characteristics of a Strong Family," https://faithalongtheway.com/characteristics-of-a-strong-family/, accessed 9/4/18.
2 John Donne, "No Man Is an Island," https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/no-man-is-an-island/, accessed 9/4/18.

OUTLINE

  1. The Footings: How Careful Are You? (vv. 15-17)

  2. The Foundation: Who’s in Control? (v. 18)

  3. The Framing: What Rooms Are Included? (vv. 19-20)

    1. The Music Room: “Speaking to one another in psalms and hymns”

    2. The Meditation Room: “Singing and making melody in your heart”

    3. The Mood Room: “Giving thanks always for all things”

  4. The Fencing: How Do You Protect Residents? (v. 21)

 


 

SERIES: Smart Home
MESSAGE: Till Death Do Us Part—What You Need to Know to Make Marriage Last
SPEAKER: Skip Heitzig
SCRIPTURE: Genesis 2; Mark 10
URL: http://CalvaryABQ.org/4343

MESSAGE SUMMARY
Is a lifetime commitment to a spouse even reasonable? Does permanence have to become a goal if it means a couple just has to grin and bear it? What if a marriage hinders one’s personal growth and self-fulfillment? Today I want to make a case not just for getting married but also for staying married. Let’s go back to the divine architect’s original prototype to understand what He had in mind when coming up with this idea of marriage.

STUDY GUIDE
Connect Recap Notes: September 9, 2018
Speaker: Skip Heitzig
Teaching: "Till Death Do Us Part—What You Need to Know to Make Marriage Last"
Text: Genesis 2; Mark 10

Path

Is a lifetime commitment to a spouse even reasonable? Does permanence have to become a goal if it means a couple just has to grin and bear it? What if a marriage hinders one's personal growth and self-fulfillment? Pastor Skip makes a case not just for getting married but also for staying married. He goes back to the divine architect's original prototype to understand what He had in mind when coming up with this idea of marriage:

  1. Understand What Marriage Is (Genesis 2:24)
  2. Understand What Marriage Does (Genesis 2:25)
  3. Understand What Marriage Needs (Mark 10:9)
Points

Understand What Marriage IsUnderstand What Marriage DoesUnderstand What Marriage Needs Practice

Connect Up: Why do you think God invented marriage? As Pastor Skip noted, there is a physical, spiritual, and material union. Can you think of other reasons (a picture of love, etc.)? How does a good and godly marriage reflect the Lord?

Connect In: As Pastor Skip said, marriage within the church is attacked, with people and evil wanting to tear it apart. Share stories of how you pursue the four areas in the acronym LAST: laughter, absolve, study, and time.

Connect Out: What advice would you give someone whose marriage is falling apart? Furthermore, what advice would you give to someone whose parents, children, family, or hobbies are tearing a marriage apart? Though each area needs a specific answer, is there one unifying answer? To put it in Skip's words, what is at the heart of what is tearing you apart?


1 Hampton Roads Legal Services, "What Are The Statistics On Divorce In America?" https://www.hamptonroadslegal.com/faqs/facts-on-divorce-in-america.cfm, accessed 9/9/18.
2 Rachel Feltman, "Is cheating more 'natural' for humans than staying monogamous? It's complicated." August 20, 2015, https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2015/08/20/is-cheating-more-natural-for-humans-than-staying-monogamous-its-complicated/?utm_term=.b48f93363a2b, accessed 9/10/18.
3 Russell Heimlich, "Marriage Is Obsolete," January 6, 2011, http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2011/01/06/marriage-is-obsolete, accessed 9/9/18.

OUTLINE


  1. Understand What Marriage Is (Genesis 2:24)

  2. Understand What Marriage Does (Genesis 2:25)

  3. Understand What Marriage Needs (Mark 10:9)

 


 

SERIES: Smart Home
MESSAGE: The Master Bedroom: Components of Marital Intimacy
SPEAKER: Skip Heitzig
SCRIPTURE: Proverbs 5:15-21
URL: http://CalvaryABQ.org/4345

MESSAGE SUMMARY
Being intimate with your spouse involves more than just sex (though it certainly includes that). Intimacy is a sense of caring and affection in which one can be totally vulnerable with someone without the fear of being hurt or misunderstood. The physical/sexual factor should only enhance that. Intimacy is essential if a marriage is going to thrive. Let’s recover four components of marital intimacy.

STUDY GUIDE
Connect Recap Notes: September 16, 2018
Speaker: Skip Heitzig
Teaching: "The Master Bedroom: Components of Marital Intimacy"
Text: Proverbs 5:15-21

Path

Being intimate with your spouse involves more than just sex (though it certainly includes that). Intimacy is a sense of caring and affection in which one can be totally vulnerable with someone without the fear of being hurt or misunderstood. The physical/sexual factor should only enhance that. Intimacy is essential if a marriage is going to thrive. Pastor Skip taught four ways to recover components of marital intimacy:

  1. Intimacy Begins with Commitment (v. 18)
  2. Intimacy Grows with Enjoyment (v. 18)
  3. Intimacy Includes Allurement (vv. 15, 19-20)
  4. Intimacy Is Part of Covenant (v. 21)
Points

Intimacy Begins with CommitmentIntimacy Grows with EnjoymentIntimacy Includes AllurementIntimacy Is Part of CovenantPractice

Connect Up: How can intimacy reflect our relationship with the Lord? For example, various emotions in an intimate relationship correspond to those Christians have with the Lord. Discuss the following: love, care, knowing, trust, honesty, real communication, actively present with each other, and being oneself—open and sincere.

Connect In: Though uncomfortable at times (and considered taboo within some denominations), how can a church help teach and cultivate more intimacy between a husband and wife? One way is, as Pastor Skip demonstrated, teach it from the pulpit. What are other avenues that can strengthen and encourage marriage relationships within the church?

Connect Out: In a day and age where sex is promoted in ungodly ways in our society, how can Christians help people overcome a nonbiblical view of sex, helping people find the Lord and help for sexual addictions?4What are some of the more prominent sexual addictions (e.g. porn)? Discuss biblical remedies (see 2 Corinthians 5:17; Romans 12:1-2; Romans 7:24-25).5

1 P.S. Williams, "Christianity & Sex," 1998, http://www.leaderu.com/theology/williams_csex.html, accessed 9/16/18.
2 Baylor Media Communications, "Baylor Study: Cellphones Can Damage Romantic Relationships, Lead to Depression," September 29, 2015, https://www.baylor.edu/mediacommunications/news.php?action=story&story=161554, accessed 9/16/18.
3 The Wall Street Journal, "Couples on Different Sleep Schedules Can Expect Conflict—and Adapt," September 9, 2014, https://www.wsj.com/articles/couples-on-different-sleep-schedules-can-expect-conflictand-adapt-1410217854, accessed 9/16/18.
4 According to Medicine.net, "Sexual addiction is a condition that involves the sufferer becoming excessively preoccupied with thoughts or behaviors that give a desired sexual effect."
5 Some suggestions by Ed Young: https://www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/overcoming-sexual-addiction-1328796.html

OUTLINE

  1. Intimacy Begins with Commitment (v. 18)

  2. Intimacy Grows with Enjoyment (v. 18)

  3. Intimacy Includes Allurement (vv. 15, 19-20)

  4. Intimacy Is Part of Covenant (v. 21)

 


 

SERIES: Smart Home
MESSAGE: Communication Breakdown
SPEAKER: Nate Heitzig
URL: http://CalvaryABQ.org/4349

STUDY GUIDE
Connect Recap Notes: September 30, 2018
Speaker: Nate Heitzig
Teaching: "Communication Breakdown"
Text: Ephesians 4:25-32; 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Path

God's plan for the family is to build, strengthen, and protect. But Satan has declared war on the family, wanting to undermine, weaken, and destroy it. With divorce rising over 700 percent in this century and one divorce for every 1.8 marriages, the family is under brutal attack. In this teaching, Nate Heitzig talked about how to deal with communication breakdown in a marriage:

  1. Preventing Breakdown
  2. Repairing Breakdown
Points

Preventing BreakdownRepairing BreakdownPractice

Connect Up: If "God is love" (1 John 4:8), then love should characterize a Christian marriage. Love is best seen in the person of Jesus. It's also defined in 1 Corinthians 13. Using that passage, discuss how the following characteristics should influence marriage, giving examples—good or bad—from your experience: patience, kindness, not envious, not boasting, not proud, not dishonoring, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeping no record of wrongs, rejoices in truth, protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. If you are not married, how can these love truths help form a healthy relationship?

Connect In: Share some ups and downs of communication within your marriage (or another close relationship, if you're not married). What have you learned from them? How did you deal with a communication breakdown? How did you restore communication? If you are not married, what principles of communication do you think a marriage should entail?

Connect Out: How would you reach out to a person struggling with communication problems in their marriage? Focus on the Family encourages using the acronym DEAL:1 "Don't take the bait. Explain the impact of the behavior and express your needs and expectation. Ask questions to draw your spouse into dialogue to gain understanding. Let go of the need to manage your spouse's behavior. Manage your own." Do you agree with these tactics? What would you add?


1 Deb DeArmond, "4 Steps to Deal With Conflict in Your Marriage," 2018, https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/communication-and-conflict/4-steps-to-deal-with-conflict-in-your-marriage, accessed 9/30/18.

OUTLINE


  1. Preventing Breakdown

  2. Repairing Breakdown

 


 

SERIES: Smart Home
MESSAGE: A Smart Home...with In-Laws?
SPEAKER: Skip Heitzig
SCRIPTURE: Genesis 28-31
URL: http://CalvaryABQ.org/4351

MESSAGE SUMMARY
Every wedding creates a blended family. Marriage not only joins a man and a woman, it blends the extended family of mothers-in-law, fathers-in-law, sisters-in-law, and brothers-in-law. The odds for dysfunction run pretty high. Today we consider the roles of God, parents, in-laws, and married children doing life together. How can in-laws be prevented from becoming outlaws? Four principles apply:

STUDY GUIDE
Connect Recap Notes: October 7, 2018
Speaker: Skip Heitzig
Teaching: "A Smart Home...With In-Laws?"
Text: Genesis 28-31

Path

Every wedding creates a blended family. Marriage not only joins a man and a woman, it blends the extended family of mothers-in-law, fathers-in-law, sisters- in-law, and brothers-in-law. The odds for dysfunction run pretty high. Let's consider the roles of God, parents, in-laws, and married children doing life together. How can in-laws be prevented from becoming outlaws? Four principles apply:

  1. Parents Must Release Their Children (28:1-5)
  2. God Can Rule Their Children (28:10-15)
  3. In-Laws Should Reinforce Their Children (29:18-28)
  4. Children Should Respect Their Parents (31:2-7)
Points

Parents Must Release Their ChildrenGod Can Rule Their Children  In-Laws Should Reinforce Their ChildrenChildren Should Respect Their ParentsPractice

Connect Up: As our Heavenly Father demonstrates, what characteristics should parents and in-laws strive toward? Use Psalm 103:1-10 as a starting place for discussion: forgiving (v. 3); healing (v. 3); loving and tender (v. 4); provider (v. 5); seeks righteousness and justice (v. 6); merciful (v. 8); slow to anger (vv. 8-9); compassionate (v. 10). What other qualities and characteristics can you think of?

Connect In: People within the church may struggle with in-laws as they do in other relationships. If you are married, what advice would you give a newlywed couple concerning in-laws? If you are in-laws, what insight can you share? What have been some good or difficult lessons learned?

Connect Out: What advice would you give to someone struggling with their in-laws? Do you agree with what Focus on the Family advises below?1
1 Phillip J. Swihart, "In-Law Relationships," www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/communication-and-conflict/inlaw-relationships/what-do-i-owe-my-inlaws, accessed 10/8/18.

OUTLINE


  1. Parents Must Release Their Children (28:1-5)

  2. God Can Rule Their Children (28:10-15)

  3. In-Laws Should Reinforce Their Children (29:18-28)

  4. Children Should Respect Their Parents (31:2-7)


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